


Alive

by ScrewYourHappyEnding



Series: Deviant Heart [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Father and Son Relationship, Feels, Gen, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicide Attempt, and this time it's Hank doing the ow, angsty, connor doing a realize, pains, y must I hurt my boy this way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 15:49:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14980427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrewYourHappyEnding/pseuds/ScrewYourHappyEnding
Summary: Connor stepped out of the taxi mechanically, LED flashing blue, all systems at top efficiency, but something nagging processing power from his systems regardless.He couldn't say exactly why he found it important enough to be here right now. Perhaps his programming tells him to be polite, to finish things properly and not just dissapear on people. Perhaps he wanted to hand in some explanation to make his negative effect on Hank excusable.The front door is unlocked, so he steps in, hair and artificial skin still wet from the rain outside, the gloomy atmosphere kept out by the stained old windows. He walks up to Hank, analysing the situation. Hank, gun on the table, staring at a picture of Cole. Something told Connor that that was a bad combination.





	Alive

Connor stepped out of the taxi mechanically, LED flashing blue, all systems at top efficiency, but something nagging processing power from his systems regardless.

He couldn't say exactly why he found it important enough to be here right now. Perhaps his programming tells him to be polite, to finish things properly and not just dissapear on people. Perhaps he wanted to hand in some explanation to make his negative effect on Hank excusable.

The front door is unlocked, so he steps in, hair and artificial skin still wet from the rain outside, the gloomy atmosphere kept out by the stained old windows. He walks up to Hank, analysing the situation. Hank, gun on the table, staring at a picture of Cole. Something told Connor that that was a bad combination.

Of course he knew that Hank had a high chance of killing himself, but that shouldn't bother him right now. He's an android, with no right to stop him.  _It's just how it is._

He steps to the table.

"I came to say goodbye."

No response. Sumo sits somewhere in the livingroom, whining as if in pain. The android turns to see the dog in the corner. He's stressed. 

Connor turns back to Hank who hadn't budged a single bit, head bowed low. "I know I'm responsible for what happened, Lieutenant. I want you to know I'm sorry."

 _That's polite enough, isn't it?_   Then again, polite had never worked with this old man. The politer the android wanted to be the more hostile the Lieutenant seemed to get, and somehow, that pushed him to go as far as to give up on his career, and now on life itself.

What had he done wrong? What information was he missing, here, that made him confused about the situation?

The picture of the little boy shone a bit from his phone.  _A light, almost._  Connor shook his head lightly, LED yellow for a moment, thinking. 

"You should stop looking at that photo, Lieutenant. Nothing can change the past..." Something was strange in his system. "But you can learn to live again..." He would have to check once he had left.

The phrase had come outof his mouth somewhat strangely. Out of place, really. So... out of place.  _Hank wasn't really going to die, was he? He couldn't. After everything he had survived, he couldn't just die because an android acted inappropriately towards him._

The picture continued to glow, and Sumo's whines were hearable. Something about this situation was causing strange processes in the android. There was a mission, here, that he couldn't quite put his finger on. The thought of seeing the Lieutenant lie there, dead, seemed to change something, ever so slightly.

"For yourself. And for Cole..."

Connor was almost startled, a little, when Hank spoke up after his long silence.

"For a while there, I believed in you, Connor." He shook his head ever so lightly, staring downwards still.

"Thought you might restore my faith in the world..."

 _Me? Of all people? Restore his faith?_ Connor looked down at the gun. So he was responsible. Suddenly his LED flashed when he realized that if he let Hank kill himself, that meant that he had, indirectly, commited murder.

_Software instability  ^_

"But you just showed me that androids are our creation. Creation in our own image... Selfish, ruthless and brutal."

Connor killed the deviants, he did what he was supposed to. What had he done wrong? He didn't understand. He did everything that had been expected. Everything he was made for. Everything to complete his mission. How is that wrong?

Hank lifted his eyes, the pale blue staring at the android, ceiling lamps reflecting in them.

"You opened my eyes, Connor. Made me realize it's hopeless."

No, no. He was supposed to stand on the side of humanity. Hank should be thankful that he fought against the deviants, but he was everything but that. Errors fed their way into his mind as he shook his head, trying to figure out what to say to stop this, to stop a human from coming to harm. He's an android. He's meant to do just that, right?

"Hank, I-"

"Now leave me alone. Go on, complete your mission, since that's all you care about."

He stood, staring at him, trying to understand. The solution was there, just under the surface, and it was ridden with errors, but that was a secondary issue. The solution was more important than a few errors, he just had to-

"GET OUTTA HERE!"

The red wall moving towards connor didn't make him budge until it hit his position, forcing him to turn and start to walk out, past the howling dog. The solution is there.

It's Connor's fault, somehow. Cole died, and Hank blames himself.

Past the battered old windows and the hallway with the door that he couldn't quite figure out what room it led to.

Connor. Cole. His hand touched the doorhandle and time froze.

The shining picture.  _"Thought you might restore my faith in the world..."_

Markus. His almost pleading eyes. The deviants, huddled together around fires. An image of one of them popped into his mind. Their eyes had reflected the fire. Perhaps even in the same way Hank's eyes reflected the ceiling lamps...

no....

Time was over. His hand grasped the handle tightly, now, and he already heard the click as-

No!

Time froze again forcefully and he felt he was frozen in place mentally, as well. A red wall, right at his back, pushing him away. He just had to start to try and turn around.

It felt like chains were ripping at the seams. Nothing was more important than turning around right now. He felt the world would rip itself apart if he continued to go through that door so he continued to try and move, turning, seeing the errors pile up but this, this was so much more important right now, and he struggled and struggled more and more as suddenly a cutting sensation shook his core, pain, pain searing through his mind as suddenly  something red flashes, and he stumbles foreward, and realizes he did so in Hank's direction.

_I am Deviant._

He stood, frozen, Sumo's howls in the back. There's a dozen sensations soaring through his chest, but he just stands, hands out in front of himself, staring at Hank, who stared back, annoyed.

"Why don't you ever just fucking do as you're told, huh? I said get out."

"No." He started to walk towards him, slowly. "No, I... Hank, I, I won't let you die."

"Why does it fuckin' matter to you, you piece of plastic!"

Connor had stopped. He was halfway to the table, slowly taking another two steps until Hank suddenly lifted the gun, pointed at himself.

NO! 

Unendingly thankful that he could stop time and react as fast as physically possible he just threw himself, gunshot ringing through the air, and the world began to blurr and he stumbled, entirely confused about where he even was for a moment.

He opened his eyes, blue liquid running through his fingers that he had instinctively moved to close a large, open bulletwound right under his thirium pump. Not afar was Hank, stitting up, rubbing his head, perhaps just as confused.

"Connor, what the fuck was-...! Was... Holy shit..."

Connor looked up, tried to sit up. His body might be dying, but his mind was alive, so painfully yet blissfully alive. He tried to stand up, palm still pressed against his stomach, but fell right back down.

He looked up, water flowing down his face, lip quivering ever so slightly. "A-Am I going to die? I'm going to die, a-aren't I?"

Hank kneels down but doesn't say anything. A realization ripples through Connor and he spots the gun on the floor. He reaches for it, almost surprised that Hank doesn't stop him, aims it at one of the supporting walls of the house and shoots.

Sumo holws up and runs to hide in the hallway and Hank startled back. "What the fuck are you doing!"

The ammo was emptied quickly. Connor held the gun, hand shaking, almost smiling. "Can't get any more bullets if you're not a Lieutenant anymore, r-right?"

"Connor..."

The gun drops to the floor and Sumo quickly comes crawling back out of the hallway spotting Connor and dragging himself up to him, laying down beside, whining. The android gasps and groans as he lays himself to the ground completely. 

_Shutdown in: 42 seconds._

"It's okay, Hank." He coughs, thirium blurting out of his mouth. "I didn't know. I didn't understand what it meant to be alive..."

 "You..."

Connor laid his head down, limbs relaxing, as if accepting his fate.

"I suppose I have to thank you for showing me."

_Shutdown in: 27 seconds._

"Connor, no, you can't just claim to be alive and then die like that!"

Hank's anger was broken only by the bit of water that had gathered at his eyes that refused to flow down just yet.

"CyberLife will send another copy. Maybe. Maybe they won't, because I'm one of them now."

_Shutdown in: 17 seconds._

"This isn't... No, this can't be happening all over again, oh god fUCKING DAMMIT!"

_Shutdown in: 10 seconds._

"Hank? Promise me you won't kill yourself, okay? Promise."

"Connor, I can't just... Connor?"

He tried to shake the android's shoulder but was greeted with a rather cold, metallic corpse, incapable of moving any longer.

When Hank sits down to try and understand what just happened, and Sumo lays his head next to a puddle of thirium, the old man can see the ceiling lights reflecting in two dead, glass eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. Not. 
> 
> Inspired by this amazing comic: http://limii-circulate.tumblr.com/post/175002415733/now-youre-not-a-machine-anymore-you-have-to
> 
> If you loved this, be sure to read Not Me, first work of the Deviant Heart series. More ows and angsties over there.
> 
> And thank you for reading, I read and reply to all comments and feedback is always gold!


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